you don’t need to be new

"And, besides I remind myself, you don’t need to be new, Stacia. You just need to be Now."

- Stacia Trask. "A Pliny the Elderwood Cutting Board: The Raw Materials of Age + Utility" www.peacefoodlove.com.

picking up the arrow

If someone insults us, we usually dwell on it, asking ourselves, “Why did he say that to me?” and on and on. It’s as if someone shoots an arrow at us, but it falls short. Focusing on the problem is like picking up the arrow and repeatedly stabbing ourselves with it, saying, “He hurt me so much. I can’t believe he did that.”

- Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche, "Putting Down the Arrow," tricycle.com

no past, no future, only this

"There is nothing other than this present moment; there is no past, there is no future; there is nothing but this. So when we don’t pay attention to each little this, we miss the whole thing."

—Charlotte Joko Beck, "Attention Means Attention," tricycle.com

take this power seriously

“You have the power

to lift your partner’s 

spirits or to dash them.

Take this power seriously.

 

The choices you make 

will profoundly affect 

your partner,

your relationship – and 

yourself.”

- Stephanie Dowrick. “The Almost Perfect Marriage.” Allen & Unwin, 2013-03-09.

the key to surviving the storm

“Yes, on occasion, tumult can lead to improvement. The key to surviving the storm seems to be an ability to eventually let go of attachments—to grudges, to being right, to righteous anger—and to open ourselves to love and compassion for our partner.”

- Sarah Napthali. “Buddhism for Couples.” Penguin Publishing Group, 2015-05-18.

let go

“In Buddhist terms, accommodation can be seen as the Second Noble Truth: desire is the cause of suffering, therefore, let go. Let go of the desire to be right, the desire to retaliate, the desire to defend the “self,”

- Sarah Napthali. “Buddhism for Couples.” Penguin Publishing Group, 2015-05-18.

cultivate letting go

“We are not in pursuit of something when we meditate. Rather, we cultivate letting go”

- Sarah Napthali. “Buddhism for Couples.” Penguin Publishing Group, 2015-05-18.

add a teaspoon of poison to a lagoon

“if we add a teaspoon of poison to a cup of water then the water becomes contaminated, but if we add a teaspoon of poison to a lagoon, it has little effect. Similarly, if our partner makes a careless comment when our mind is spacious, we feel little effect. If our mind is contracted and small, then any insensitive remark feels like a declaration of war.”

- Sarah Napthali. “Buddhism for Couples.” Penguin Publishing Group, 2015-05-18.